Assessing a Family Law Firm in Chicago

The only thing worse than having no attorney in a legal situation, is having a bad attorney. In fact, one of the worst ways you can deceive yourself is by thinking that you have good legal representation when you do not. Choosing a family law firm in Chicago when you're going through a divorce, having a child custody dispute or having some other type of an issue that falls under the area of practice, called family law is a very big deal. The following tips can help you choose the right family law firm in Chicago to represent you and your family.

Notes

Before you go visit any family law firm in Chicago, get a notebook and write down all the questions that you have for the attorneys. It's good to have a mix of general questions and questions that are specific to your case. For example, ask them how long their law firm has been in practice. Ask them how well they've done for their clients. Ask them about their legal philosophy in terms of how they can best serve their client's needs. A family law firm in Chicago that is reputable and experienced will be more than willing to sit down with you and explain where they're coming from in terms of their practice.

Make sure you ask any family law firm in Chicago that you're considering what other options they have for you aside from divorce court. Sometimes, divorces can be settled amicably out of court. There is even an area of law called Collaborative Practice, which has to do with Collaboration, which is a process that allows couples to engage the services of experts to help them resolve their differences fairly without ever having to go to court to do it. This is a great option if you and your spouse can agree to it.

Generally speaking, the most stressful part of any issue that a client approaches a family law firm in Chicago with will have to do with child custody. If you have questions about child custody or how your case may end up in relation to it, make certain you talk to the lawyers about it right away. The lawyers at any family law firm in Chicago are accustomed to dealing with people who are going through tremendous amounts of stress. Their marriage is ending, the outcome of the divorce is uncertain and, to top it off, there may be issues with the custody of children involved. Don't be afraid to ask an attorney about these issues, even if you're working on other issues at the moment.

When you find the right family law firm in Chicago, you'll have someone representing you that will fight tenaciously for your rights and that will make certain that you don't end up taking a bad deal if one is offered. If you have more serious problems, such as a spouse who may be abusive or violent toward you, a family law firm in Chicago will make sure you know your options in this regard, as well.

Talking to a Chicago Divorce Attorney When Things Get Hard

Sometimes, the circumstances that best describe a divorce go far beyond "contested" and more into the territory of ugly. A Chicago divorce attorney can help you to understand the tools that the law gives you to provide for your personal protection in situations where things have gone way over the line. When you talk to a divorce attorney in Chicago, make sure you let them know if you are afraid for your personal safety. There's nothing to be embarrassed about and the attorney may well be able to help you.

One of the things that divorce attorneys in Chicago can do to protect you is to get an order of protection. This places restrictions on the amount of contact that the person you are divorcing is allowed to have with you. A divorce attorney in Chicago may also be able to use these types of orders to ensure that you get to stay in your home and that someone who is being abusive towards you is no longer allowed to be there. If you have children and you're worried about their safety, this is something that your Chicago divorce attorney definitely needs to know about, as well.

In situations where children are involved, remember that it will be the goal of any Chicago divorce attorneys you work with and the goal of the courts to make certain that the children's needs are put first. If you feel that they are in some sort of danger from the person from whom you want a divorce, you have to tell the attorney so they know the gravity of the situation. Any Chicago divorce attorney that finds out about such a situation will do everything they can to make certain that you and your family are as safe as possible while you are pursuing your divorce.

What should you bring to the First Mediation Appointment?

Although mediation in the broadest sense of the term - that is, a process which seeks to reach a negotiated resolution of a conflict between two parties with the assistance of an impartial third one - has been practiced in society since ancient times, its application to the resolution of disputed issues in Illinois family law cases is a relatively recent phenomenon.

If you and your spouse have decided to mediate issues in your divorce such as custody, visitation or spousal maintenance (as “alimony” is known under Illinois law), you probably already understand generally how the process works and what to expect. Nevertheless, mediation will probably be a new and stressful experience for both of you and some basic preparation can help relieve your anxiety and improve the chances for a successful outcome.         

Choosing an Illinois Divorce Mediator

No two mediators have exactly the same style or approach. Since it’s obviously important for both spouses to be able to trust and feel comfortable with the selected mediator, you and your spouse should interview several candidates; if possible, do this together and compare notes after each interview.

Before you meet the first candidate, make a list of what you feel are the major issues in dispute (starting with the most important to you), and encourage your spouse to do the same. Look for a mediator whom you both feel understands your respective positions regarding these areas of conflict and who appears able to remain reasonably impartial.

Also, since many other types of disputes also can be resolved through mediation, be sure to ask each candidate about his or her specific training and experience in divorce mediation.

Scheduling and Location

Depending upon the number and complexity of disputed issues, work schedules and the level of emotion, it may be preferable to schedule a number of shorter mediation sessions instead of attempting to resolve everything in a single meeting. 

Many qualified mediators have facilities that can accommodate your group comfortably, but other options, such as meeting rooms in the local library, may also be available. Remember that you’ll be talking openly about some of the most personal details of your life, so be sure that whatever site you choose is set up in a way that will ensure your privacy.        

Collecting and Preparing Documentation

The documentation you’ll need to gather or prepare will depend on the issues to be mediated, but items commonly needed include proof of income (pay stubs, Social Security or disability payment information), tax returns and lists and estimated values of marital assets. Be sure to bring enough copies of each document for yourself, your spouse the mediator and, if they will be present, your respective attorneys.   

If you and your spouse have already agreed on some issues (for example, a child visitation schedule), it can be helpful to prepare a rough draft or outline of those items. Even though they were resolved outside the mediation, they should be included in any final mediation agreement. 

Keep a Positive Attitude

This is the single most important thing to bring to the session. In large part, what you and your spouse put into the mediation process will determine its success or failure. Above all, try to maintain an open mind and a determination to resolve as many issues as possible with the least amount of conflict.

What is a 4 way Settlement Conference?

A “four way” settlement conference in an Illinois divorce case involves the two spouses and their respective attorneys. If you are divorcing or planning to do so, and you and your spouse prefer to avoid a trial, a four-way conference is one possible way to resolve many commonly disputed matters. Here are some things to consider when deciding if a four-way settlement conference is appropriate in your case. 

First, the potential advantages. 

Cost Savings - Most Illinois family lawyers charge hourly fees for cases that go to trial. Multiply that rate by several eight to ten hour days preparing for and trying a typical divorce case and it’s easy to see how family law litigation can quickly become expensive.

Time Savings - Court schedules are busy, especially in Chicago and other urban areas. Unlike criminal defendants, parties to a divorce case are not guaranteed a speedy trial. Even if you’re both inclined to settle, traditional settlement discussions between attorneys and  their respective clients, can consume weeks or even months. In a four-way conference, all necessary parties are in the same place, allowing proposals and counterproposals to be exchanged and considered on the spot.   

Reduction of Stress - Even the most civilized uncontested divorce is an emotionally difficult process and contested cases are obviously those much more stressful. In a case that goes to trial, the added element of uncertainty as to the outcome can make the experience downright traumatic. By resolving disputed issues, a four-way conference can reduce the acrimony and uncertainty that necessarily comes with a court trial.  

A four-way conference needn’t result in a total settlement to be successful. If some disagreements can be resolved, your case probably will be heard any sooner, but there’s a good chance you’ll wind up saving time and money once you do get to trial. 

Keys to a Successful Outcome

There are no set rules or structure, and the most important consideration should always be the needs and wishes of the parties. Thus, while most conferences take place in the office of one of the lawyers, a “neutral” location ( a local mediation center, for example)  can be used, provided the setting ensures  privacy and confidentiality. Choosing an environment that’s physically and emotionally calm and comfortable is also important.         

While all four participants meet simultaneously, if emotions are high it may be preferable for each party and lawyer to have a separate room. 

Naturally, there’s no guarantee that any conference will succeed, but preparation can help foster a good outcome. The most common reason for failure is that one or both parties don’t have complete financial or property information, particularly if division of property, child support or spousal maintenance (alimony) are in depute. Scheduling a conference only after the parties have made full and complete disclosure of financial and property information will reduce the chance of winding up at an impasse.

Ideally, the agenda for a four-way conference will consist of filling in the details of a broad outline negotiated in advance. If at all possible, major disputes should be hashed out prior to the conference. At a minimum, however, both parties and their attorneys should go into the conference understanding the disputed issues and their respective spouses’ positions regarding each.  

Conclusion

Provided there has been full and mutual disclosure of assets and liabilities, a well-planned settlement conference can be an effective way for motivated spouses to resolve disputed domestic relations issues.

Things to Do to Prepare for Your Divorce

As any Chicago divorce lawyer will tell you, few if any clients just wake up one day and decide that their marriages are over. Most also do not make the decision to file for divorce without a great deal of thought. Although Illinois is essentially a “no fault” divorce state, and despite the availability of mediation and other less contentious alternatives to the traditional adversarial divorce process, for most individuals, legally ending a marriages remains a stressful and emotionally trying  experience.  

As in nearly any difficult situation, though, advance planning can reduce your stress level and help you make more thoughtful and informed decisions about your future.  Of course, consulting an experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney is a good place to start. If you’re considering divorce, here are some other practical things you can do to prepare.

  

Children and Divorce in Illinois  

If you have children under age 18 at home, are you confident you and your spouse can agree on issues of custody and visitation? Since Illinois law requires the court to decide these issues based on the best interests of the child, evidence of your involvement in your child’s life is crucial. Keep a written diary or journal of all activities with the children, no matter how routine. Be sure to note also details of any negative situations involving your spouse, such as arguments he or she starts in front of your children or negative comments about you made to the children. 

Financial Records and Divorce

Gather as much information as you can in order to give your attorney (and, eventually, a judge) a complete picture of your family’s financial situation. Make (and keep in a secure location outside the home) copies of relevant documents, including the following:

• Bank and investment account statements for the last twelve months (whether in joint names or just your spouse’s). You may be able to get these online, if necessary.
• Several of your spouse's recent pay stubs (or deposit advices if his or her pay is direct deposited)
• Twelve months’ worth of statements for pension, 401k or other retirement plans. In Illinois, the court can consider your spouse’s retirement plan balances when dividing marital assets. 
• Your last three years’ federal and state tax returns (assuming you file jointly with your spouse).    

Illinois Marital and Separate Property and Debts 

Division of assets and debts of the “marital estate” can be among the most contentious issues in divorce. You’ll need to make lists of:

• All “marital property”. This property includes most real estate and major personal property (automobiles, electronic equipment, etc.) acquired during the marriage. Using available sources (for example, the property appraisal from when you refinanced your home or prices on a used car website), estimate the current value of each item.
• All debts incurred during the marriage. Indicate the type, account number and current (and, if known, original) balance. If your spouse brought any debt into the marriage, note that fact. In Illinois, you may not be responsible for paying this debt after the divorce.
• Your separate property, which is not generally subject to division. Generally, this is property you owned before marriage, but if you later received gifts or an inheritance, it may also be treated as yours alone.

Finally, if your spouse had extramarital relationships, gather receipts or other proof of any money he or she spent. While evidence of infidelity typically won’t affect alimony, child support or property division, an experienced Chicago divorce lawyer may be able to convince the judge to order your spouse to pay this amount to the marital estate.

The Effect of Cohabitation on Maintenance

Alimony, spousal maintenance, and spousal support are all terms used to describe the financial support provided by one divorcing spouse to his or her former partner. Maintenance payments may be made in one lump sum, but they also often take the form of periodic payments made over the course of a period of time. These payments may be set to continue indefinitely, or to terminate after a fixed period of time.

Illinois law provides that one basis for termination of spousal maintenance, regardless of its type, is where the maintenance recipient "cohabitates" with a third party. Specifically, the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act provides for termination of spousal maintenance payments if the maintenance recipient is found to be living with a third party on a “resident, continuing, conjugal basis.” Note that this is not limited to situations where the cohabitation takes place after the divorce; in some cases ex-spouses have been denied spousal maintenance where the cohabitation took place prior to the finalization of the divorce. The party seeking to terminate maintenance carries the burden of proving cohabitation.

A “Resident, Continuing, Conjugal Basis”

What, then, is a “resident, continuing, conjugal basis”?

These cases are typically fact specific.  Often the values of the judge is an important factor.  Other factors that Illinois courts will consider include sharing of living expenses, joint purchasing of household items, intertwining of bank accounts and credit card use, how long the maintenance recipient has been living with the third party, how much time the couple spends together, the interrelationship of the couple’s personal lives and affairs (e.g., whether the couple vacations or spends holidays together), and the nature of the activities the couple engages in. In other words, the term "conjugal" implies a "marriage-like" relationship. A simple house sharing or roommate arrangement will not rise to the level of "marriage-like," and therefore will not operate to terminate spousal maintenance.

Inconsistencies in Rulings

Given the fact specific nature of these cases, Illinois courts have been inconsistent in how they rule on such issues. It is strongly recommended that someone seeking termination of maintenance payments on the basis of cohabitation consult an Illinois divorce attorney. By the same token, if you fear your spousal maintenance payments are at risk due to what is merely a roommate situation, contact us immediately.

Talking to your Children about the Divorce

For parents who are getting or considering a divorce in Illinois, how, what and when to tell the kids are of primary concern. Although parents may often be preoccupied by their own feelings of hurt and devastation and may be tempted to delay the discussion with their children, it’s usually better for the children to know about the decision immediately, and especially before one of their parent’s moves out.

It's important for parents to understand that children will be anxious, worried, and perhaps even angry at the prospect of mom and dad splitting up. The following tips can help parents plan to deliver the news in a reassuring, supportive, and sympathetic way.

When and How to Tell the Kids

Make a plan before sitting down to talk with the kids. Parents who are prepared can anticipate tough questions and are in a much better position to help their kids handle the news. In order to minimize shock, it’s important to let kids in on the situation right away, or at least before any changes in living arrangements occur. If possible, both parents should be present to talk with the children. While there may be a great deal of anger, disappointment or resentment between spouses, in front of the kids it is imperative to remain calm, be respectful, and present a united front.

Try to strike an empathetic tone. Physical proximity – pats on the arm or shoulder, hugs, or just sitting near – can be a powerful way to reassure kids. Be sensitive to age differences – a simple explanation is best for younger kids who won't require many details; older kids and teenagers, however, may need more information.

What to Tell Them

Always tell the truth, but try to keep it as simple as possible. Agree on an explanation with your spouse ahead of time and give the children a reason even if it’s as simple as “mom and dad just can’t get along anymore.” Avoid pointing fingers and be respectful of your spouse when giving reasons for the separation. Do not discuss issues such as money or extramarital affairs. Be sure to make it very clear to the children that they are not the cause of the divorce.

The kids’ anxiety will likely center on how the details of how divorce is going to affect them on a day to day basis. Tell them what will change – who they will live with, where they will go to school. Let them know that you will have to work some things out together as you go. Don’t put pressure on kids to choose sides and let them know that even though the marriage is ending, both parents will remain involved with them. Let them know how much you both love them and remind them that parents and kids don’t stop loving each other or get divorced.

Reassure and Support Them

Encourage the children to share their feelings and really listen to what they say. Children may have difficulty expressing emotions; parents can help by taking notice of their moods and encouraging them to talk. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay to be sad, disappointed, angry, or confused. Be patient with your kids. They may seem to understand one day and then be unsure again the next. Patiently repeat the discussion as often as needed, reassuring them that they are not responsible and that both parents will continue to love them. To the extent possible, continue to maintain and observe rules and routines. Kids feel safer and more secure when they know what to expect next.