Although mediation in the broadest sense of the term - that is, a process which seeks to reach a negotiated resolution of a conflict between two parties with the assistance of an impartial third one - has been practiced in society since ancient times, its application to the resolution of disputed issues in Illinois family law cases is a relatively recent phenomenon.
If you and your spouse have decided to mediate issues in your divorce such as custody, visitation or spousal maintenance (as “alimony” is known under Illinois law), you probably already understand generally how the process works and what to expect. Nevertheless, mediation will probably be a new and stressful experience for both of you and some basic preparation can help relieve your anxiety and improve the chances for a successful outcome.
Choosing an Illinois Divorce Mediator
No two mediators have exactly the same style or approach. Since it’s obviously important for both spouses to be able to trust and feel comfortable with the selected mediator, you and your spouse should interview several candidates; if possible, do this together and compare notes after each interview.
Before you meet the first candidate, make a list of what you feel are the major issues in dispute (starting with the most important to you), and encourage your spouse to do the same. Look for a mediator whom you both feel understands your respective positions regarding these areas of conflict and who appears able to remain reasonably impartial.
Also, since many other types of disputes also can be resolved through mediation, be sure to ask each candidate about his or her specific training and experience in divorce mediation.
Scheduling and Location
Depending upon the number and complexity of disputed issues, work schedules and the level of emotion, it may be preferable to schedule a number of shorter mediation sessions instead of attempting to resolve everything in a single meeting.
Many qualified mediators have facilities that can accommodate your group comfortably, but other options, such as meeting rooms in the local library, may also be available. Remember that you’ll be talking openly about some of the most personal details of your life, so be sure that whatever site you choose is set up in a way that will ensure your privacy.
Collecting and Preparing Documentation
The documentation you’ll need to gather or prepare will depend on the issues to be mediated, but items commonly needed include proof of income (pay stubs, Social Security or disability payment information), tax returns and lists and estimated values of marital assets. Be sure to bring enough copies of each document for yourself, your spouse the mediator and, if they will be present, your respective attorneys.
If you and your spouse have already agreed on some issues (for example, a child visitation schedule), it can be helpful to prepare a rough draft or outline of those items. Even though they were resolved outside the mediation, they should be included in any final mediation agreement.
Keep a Positive Attitude
This is the single most important thing to bring to the session. In large part, what you and your spouse put into the mediation process will determine its success or failure. Above all, try to maintain an open mind and a determination to resolve as many issues as possible with the least amount of conflict.
If you and your spouse have decided to mediate issues in your divorce such as custody, visitation or spousal maintenance (as “alimony” is known under Illinois law), you probably already understand generally how the process works and what to expect. Nevertheless, mediation will probably be a new and stressful experience for both of you and some basic preparation can help relieve your anxiety and improve the chances for a successful outcome.
Choosing an Illinois Divorce Mediator
No two mediators have exactly the same style or approach. Since it’s obviously important for both spouses to be able to trust and feel comfortable with the selected mediator, you and your spouse should interview several candidates; if possible, do this together and compare notes after each interview.
Before you meet the first candidate, make a list of what you feel are the major issues in dispute (starting with the most important to you), and encourage your spouse to do the same. Look for a mediator whom you both feel understands your respective positions regarding these areas of conflict and who appears able to remain reasonably impartial.
Also, since many other types of disputes also can be resolved through mediation, be sure to ask each candidate about his or her specific training and experience in divorce mediation.
Scheduling and Location
Depending upon the number and complexity of disputed issues, work schedules and the level of emotion, it may be preferable to schedule a number of shorter mediation sessions instead of attempting to resolve everything in a single meeting.
Many qualified mediators have facilities that can accommodate your group comfortably, but other options, such as meeting rooms in the local library, may also be available. Remember that you’ll be talking openly about some of the most personal details of your life, so be sure that whatever site you choose is set up in a way that will ensure your privacy.
Collecting and Preparing Documentation
The documentation you’ll need to gather or prepare will depend on the issues to be mediated, but items commonly needed include proof of income (pay stubs, Social Security or disability payment information), tax returns and lists and estimated values of marital assets. Be sure to bring enough copies of each document for yourself, your spouse the mediator and, if they will be present, your respective attorneys.
If you and your spouse have already agreed on some issues (for example, a child visitation schedule), it can be helpful to prepare a rough draft or outline of those items. Even though they were resolved outside the mediation, they should be included in any final mediation agreement.
Keep a Positive Attitude
This is the single most important thing to bring to the session. In large part, what you and your spouse put into the mediation process will determine its success or failure. Above all, try to maintain an open mind and a determination to resolve as many issues as possible with the least amount of conflict.
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